Gossip gets you no where

There is one thing I can confidently say about gossip. Keep your mouth shut! 

Okay, if you are a girl and you are reading this don't act like you haven't said something behind someone else's back. We've all done it. I know I have. And let me tell you,karma is really good at showing people what's up.

There have been two instances in my life where gossip kicked me in the butt. The first one is a story for another time... but the one I would like to share with you today is something I like to call the "text message break up." 

Now this blog is for me to share my experiences, write them down so I can remember later. The good and the bad. But it is not for me to do anything to hurt someone else. Some people know this story, but I won't be saying names for those who do not.

The situation that caused me to rethink the meaning of gossip took place in a bar. Well kind of... I was at a bar (drinking water) and I got a text message. My stomach dropped immediately. you don't get a message that long and it not be bad. 

In order to not throw anyone under a bus I will not be giving details of before. I will say at this time I don't think anyone was even at fault. Honestly, there are just some people that should be friends on different levels. That is something I have learned recently. You can be friends with anyone as long as you find the right level. You can't tell everyone everything, some people just need to be people you smile and say hello to.

So back to the text message. It was long. And it was pretty brutal. But there was one line I read over and over in my mind. 

"Frankly you are a terrible person and a horrible friend."

At first I was angry. Angry that someone who I didn't consider a friend could say that. But then I came to the realization that me being a good friend was not the issue at hand. Honestly, I did the things I should have. I took her to the hospital when she hurt, and besides that there wasn't much left for me to do. 

But again, that was not the matter at hand. The matter was that the things I was being accused of were in fact gossip. Though at the time that I said them, I truthfully did not think they were. I did in fact gossip about her, but that wasn't even what she was bringing up. It is so hard not to gossip when everyone else is. sad thing was I learned my lesson on gossip in high school. Don't say things you don't want others to hear. What I didn't learn was that sometimes even sharing your honest thoughts will get you into trouble. 

I was a coward back then and did not confront the problem once it happened. I also see now this made it worse. But truthfully I didn't know what to do. I was shocked that what I thought was acceptable behavior just kicked me in the butt like karma. 

You may be asking, what exactly is all this babble coming to? Well, I know it won't help many... but I think maybe my experience can help some. We are always told "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all." But the meaning seems to go deeper than that. 

I'm not saying you can never say anything at all. Everyone needs to vent some times. But you have to be very careful with the people you do it towards. I usually tell my mom. She is the only one that won't tell anyone else. Well maybe my dad or sister, but honestly what are they going to do? 

That is the thing with gossip. Even when it isn't gossip, it just is. That is the challenge. You have to find things to talk about that aren't people. Sure, if you have a concern for someones health it is okay, but besides that think of other things. 

Now I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm not at all. I still slip up and probably always will. We are human, it is bound to happen. But honestly, we have to try. In the end, friends or not we are all girls, so what is the point of causing problems with one another?