Honestly she is way too cool for something like that. But I'm not. And hearing it made me think of my own commandments. So for the next six days (I chose six since I will be leaving for home next Saturday! And I don't have 10) I will be sharing the things that help me get through this crazy world, and explain how they have come about.
DAY ONE: You can't until you can
Something I have found very prominent in life is turning your cant's into cans and your dreams into plans.
As a child I was very stern. "Mom I HAVE to be a singer. I was meant to be a singer. If I'm not a singer I will be nothing." and "Dad I need a dog, I will die without a dog. My life will end. Just end I tell you!"
Everything was something big. Everything was a dream. And everything was the most important thing.
But then everything became hard. All my life I have been told I can't. You can't be a singer, you can't have a dog (except that one time when I did get a dog) but the list goes on. You can't be a writer, you can't even spell. You can't be enough for me. News? You can't be in new with those looks.
Life is full of cant's, and it is also full of dreams. Sure, when you are five and want to be an astronaut you aren't really thinking about the plausibility. But that is just it. Why should anything have to be plausible?
See, over the years I have learned that the only thing stopping us from achieving our goals and overcoming our cant's is us. You are the only problem. You have the choice.
A few days ago I was asked to spell a word out loud. This is something I just can't do. Not that I don't think I can, but mentally with my dyslexia words form incorrectly in my head. Writing them down works fine, people like me are the reason spell check was invented, it is just out loud where I have trouble. So here I am, sitting in a room full of people, mortified to spell a word.
And this is when it hit me. "Shelby," I told myself, "Just spell the word." And I did. And, it was right. Before I would have died. Tears would have flown down my face right then and there. But not this time. Nope. This time I knew I could do it. Because when I know I can it works.
When you start to eliminate can't you start to initiate your dreams into actions. That is the difference in your childhood dreams and your adult ones. When you are an adult you have the option to do something to achieve them. Try as I did, nothing was going to get my on a plane/train/bus to Nashville to be the next Taylor Swift before there was Taylor Swift. My parents were not budging from their Austin home, and my sister so frequently reminded me of my awkward dance moves. I couldn't shake it like Britney Spears if I couldn't even shake it like a robot.
But these problems occurred because being a singer wasn't actually my dream.
This is where I think we let a lot of negative in. When you are trying for a dream that isn't yours then of course those cant's will get in the way. I get nervous sining in front of people. And I'm not that good. Never did I really want to live a life being gawked by people. I avoid eye contact with everyone, and honestly, I don't even like my friends to hug me. Clearly having strangers grab after me would have been one mental breakdown after another. (Oh, and if you didn't know by now I wasn't just going to be a singer, I was going to be the best singer.)
My true dream was Journalism. I truly love the camera work that goes into it. I truly love to write, un dig a story, understand someones life one-on-one. Large crowds make me nervous, but meeting a single individual wanting to tell their side of things has the upmost appeal. I was lucky enough to lose a significant amount of weight after high school, thank you universe for saying I can be on film.
And above all else I know that this is where I want to be. Not even the dirty deeds and so called "b**** work" get me down when on the job. Sure, I get lost EVERY single time I have to drive the cars. And sure, I get emails saying I spelled another thing wrong on the web. Though no matter how many times someone tells me I can't, I now know I can. Never do I regret the decision I have made to turn my cant's into cans and my dreams into plans.
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