DAY THREE: Don't be afraid to say no

This word no is something I still have quite the trouble with. Saying no is really hard, but saying yes all the time can define you. 

I used to be in a place of yes. Yes I will take on another class in which I will be unable to juggle the assignments, yes I will work 7 days a week for no pay even though I can't keep my eyes open, yes I will go out to that party/bar/club in which I will feel awkward. I said yes because it is so much easier than saying no.

But the more I said these three letters the more I felt lost. No sleep will do that to you. And so will doing things you don't want too. 

Ever get that feeling where you are in the middle of doing something and you just don't want to be there any more? Kind of like when you drink, there is always that moment where you no longer want to be drunk, too late! Your hair is a mess, your breath reeks of beer, and that cute outfit you put on hours ago... it isn't so cute with those wet stains down the front. Vodka doesn't clean well.

See, I began to realize I was having a lot of these moments. I would be at a party and really want to be home. I would be running around from class to class and job to job wishing for a physical break down so I wouldn't have to face my next task. 

I really wanted to be in a place where I could hear the person I was talking to, and share a real experience, not a drunken talk. 

When you are in college however, this is hard to come by. It is socially acceptable to go out, it is not socially acceptable to sit around in underwear and a tank with a good book... unless you are drunk and being the life of a party. Then it is a great idea. Just be aware of the photos the next day.

For me not going out came with finding someone who didn't either. He was very into triathlons so drinking and staying out late only interfered with his training. For me this was perfect. And I held onto it for a long time in part because I felt safe in knowing my weekend plans were made. And waking up the next day to the sun rise is so much better than waking up to a headache and a fuzzy memory of the bar tops you danced on.

When it was over, I had to learn how to be different on my own. It was hard, and I still some times feel awkward. Obviously when you say no to the bar over and over people are going to get the hint. Driving down the road after a long day at work only to see it full of drunk people does make me think maybe I should give it another try. But I am quickly reminded of how nervous I am in those situations. And frankly, alcohol taste horrible. Some times I even think I'm allergic. 

Okay, so probably not, but it seems like a good excuse. 

I'm not saying this is for everyone, nor am I saying you need to stop going out. Some people are meant to be social butterflies, and they excel at it! What I am saying is don't be nervous to say no if you don't want to do something. Don't fear you will lose friends, or be worried about which frat-attack wont see you out. You don't need to impress those people, you need to impress yourself. 

It is so easy to place ourselves in these awkward situations just to impress someone else. People will give you a hard time, but in the end, if someone wont talk to you because you wont hit up the bar they probably don't need to be going to the bar anyways.