The pedestal

Yesterday at lunch one of my dear friends was talking about how we put people on a pedestal. We find someone who gives off a great first impression and immediately they are post marked as perfect in our book. She then said when things end with someone we find to be perfect we have to take the time to see maybe they weren't so bright and shiny after all. Maybe we let a few flaws get away while standing on the lower ground. 

I had never really heard something like this before, but the more I thought about it the more it seemed to be true. We really do give those we enjoy a little too much wiggle room. Perhaps to see if they will fall.

See, I was putting someone on a pedestal not too long ago. For good reason. They deserved to be on one. But they also decided to jump down. It took that conversation to realize it, but what I had thought was all laugh lines and holding hands was not. 

We have these great things called smart phones, and one day I went back through some text messages to put me in a good mood. Oh yeah if you didn't know I'm a professional creep. But what I found was not so good. These things I thought were said so sweetly and with such passion really were not. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't night and day. I was picturing I love you and getting I hate you. I'm not some crazy delusional. Though part of me did wonder what I was seeing then that was clearly not there. 

I think we do this with a lot of our life. We want to be prettier, we want to be skinnier, we want to have a lot of friends. You can suck in your stomach all day, but the extra skin is still tucked away. Eventually it has to be let out.

Now I'm not saying this is a bad thing. And I'm not saying that after every relationship you will be able to look back and say the other person wasn't great. Honestly, the person on my mind still is great. Wonderful to be exact. It was the situation we were in that wasn't. You can't change the cards you were dealt, but you can be a little smarter about the way you play them. 

Hearing my friend say those words helped me see I will be okay. It isn't a coping mechanism, or a sure fire get over you plan. It is simply a way to examine the truth, something we as humans stray so far from.