The key to loss

This morning I lost my key... really last night after work. But I came to the realization this morning. I had it when I got home, and I had it when I opened the door, I even had it when I shut the door. But like every time you lose something, your mind goes blank right before it's gone. 

The thought has been consuming my mind all day. I went to work and I thought about it. I made lunch and I thought about it. I am writing this blog and well, I'm thinking about it. The more I thought about it the more it became clear that losing something as simple as a key isn't much different than losing someone or something close to you. 

Sure it is not the exact same thing, I know my key didn't hold me close and kiss me goodnight, but it did protect me. I could lock up my house with it. And if need be it would have made a decent joust towards an attacker (I leave work in the dark).

My favorite show right now is How I Met Your Mother. Much like when Marshall and Lilly broke up and he could no longer go to couples brunch. I can no longer get into my home. It is a simple thing, something you don't think about when the option is always there. But one day it might just be gone. And once it is you realize ALL the things you can no longer do.

I have been lucky in my life to not experience a large loss. Though seeing it happen around me causes question. Like why must we experience loss? Why do people have to leave? And is every situation supposed to teach us something?

If so perhaps I was meant to learn what keeping my keys in my bag feels like. Or maybe it is time to invest in one of those nifty key chains everyone raves about. Okay, no one raves, but I don't use one. It is annoying when the keys cling around, and it hurts my hand to put them on. 

It hurts much like loss does. Loss consumes your every day. It distracts you from getting things done, and it controls your future. If you let it. But why should we let it? Why do we allow the loss of someone or something hurt us? We need to feel pain in order to understand what we want. But once we know what we want shouldn't we just go get it? Can't we find new and better from those things that did not last?

When relationships end it is really easy to remember all the good. But we don't seem to remember the times we had problems. Some cases are different, some people only remember the bad just to push out the good. But for the most part it seems we want to be sad. We want to hold on to this thing that wasn't right. Maybe because hurt is easy. Hurting is safe, it allows comfort in pain. It is when you decide to move up, pick yourself back up and recover that you have to fear.

Sure my key was fine, it did the job. But some times it didn't work, and I had to press it against the door really hard to make the sensor go off. A new key really wouldn't be that bad. It might even be right. Really it would be the best thing.