This time last year

Ever had that moment where you think to yourself "Wow this time last year,"?

Today was one of those days for me.

I was just sitting on my computer in Starbucks typing away when I decided to see what was going on in the wonderful world of Facebook. There it was, smack dab in my face. A status wishing those Kona goers luck. 

This time last year I was diving face first into my first article. I was spending every night and all day making the lead perfect. Being told no over and over by my wonderful professor Patrick, and collaborating with Laura about making this story perfect. 

This time last year I was also balancing an internship and school. Nothing compared to the events that would follow. The months I had ahead would test my patience, skills, and sleeping regime. But not this time. This time I was working on my first article to run in the school newspaper. 

That time last year I thought this was a really really big deal. And It is. It will forever be my first article. But it wont be my last. 

Now I understand that you need time to breathe. That big things will happen when they should in my career. I was doing a lot back then. I still do. But at this time this year I see the need for a break. And I see the need not to break. To give yourself some room to grow and move. The problem with putting so much structure in your life even taking time for a breath will put your plans off track.

This time last year I still enjoyed a drink. I would go out with my friends. Though not as often, I still made the trek out with that scary looking fake I.D. I wanted to be a journalist, but I wanted to be a college student still too. Now I don't. Now I am not. This time last year I was still a youth, still able to mess up and go to my parents. Still allowed to make mistakes that did not curse my future.

And on this very day last year I was running into my house screaming that I had met the man of my dreams. So this time last year my roommates thought I was crazy. Because I was crazy. "Guys!" I gushed. "I have met the only guy I will consider marrying. He is engaged... but that is okay. Now I know why I will forever be alone." I still am crazy. But this was the day I began my journey to find out what feelings are. 

There I walked into the bike shop to meet the subject of my story. I looked up to see it. I say it because at that very moment I didn't know what to call him. I didn't know his name. And frankly he was really tall, like a long lanky attractive limb.

This time last year I was falling. funny thing is, this time this year I'm falling again. On this day this year I'm thinking of someone so wonderful. I'm thinking not seeing because he is far away. Someone who I sat on the phone with for hours last night. He is helping me find myself and the great person I can become. He is someone who I count the days to see. Someone so great again I am left with no words. 

It is funny how a year will change you. This time last year I thought I had it all figured out. This time this year I know I do, but I love the mess I'm in and the journey I am taking.