Movie date with none other than me!

Today I went to the movies... all alone! This has been something I have wanted to do for some time now. The anticipation grew every time I would think about going through with it.

'Okay Shelby, this time you will do it. Just drive to the theater, walk up to the line, order a ticket, and you are done.'

But it never worked out. I never could go through with it. Until today.

This anticipation had been building in me since I realized Perks of Being a Wallflower was showing in Lubbock a mere 36 hours ago. I knew then, that it was the right time. This WAS the perfect movie. See, I just finished reading the book, and falling in love.

I have a habit of being taken away by the pages of a novel and this was no different. Charlie is the misfit-fit in that I can correlate with. And who doesn't love a good high school story? I know I do!

So back to the movies. This experience was going to be one I never forget. I told myself this as I drove up to the theater an hour early. Don't think I was taking this opportunity to be different. No no, I wanted to be my true self, which includes getting everywhere early. For the theater it was a bit too early.

They were closed... awkward.

I waited. Finally getting my ticket I mad a pit stop for the restroom (knowing I wouldn't be interrupting this experience) and found my seat. By the way, movies at 1:30 have maybe five people in them. Glorious.

The next two hours were spent in a frenzy of self-loving, self-loathing, and self-respect. For the first time ever I was experiencing a movie alone. It was thrilling! Every scene was captivating, the movie as a whole was all I had to worry about.

You don't realize how much you try to impress other when seeing a movie. Am I sitting up straight so my date thinks I'm cute? Why won't he hold my hand? Should I laugh right now or will my friends think I'm dumb? My hand... if I put it closer to the cup holder will he hold it? Should I pee or wait so no one has to move? Jesus! Just hold my hand!

All these thoughts are demolished when alone. I laughed, I cried, I crossed and uncrossed my legs with ease. It was a beautiful thing!

Though this experience would have never been the same if not for the movie I saw. Let me tell you something, Perks of Being a Wallflower may be one of my top five films of all time. And frankly, I don't watch movies so that is a big thing to say. It's captivating message carries you back to a time where you can relate. I had heard the novel brought people out of depression, acted like a friend, but I didn't understand the full effect until comparing both. It was simply a beautiful thing.

I sauntered out of the movie fresh and a bit sad. Sad the experience was over, sad that I can no longer say I will see my first movie alone, and frankly sad by the movies message. But that was a good sad.